The Psychoactive Substances Act 1, Scene 2: “An Utter Failure”

Enter, Stage Right: Theresa May

May: “Ban anything that makes anyone feel ANYTHING!”

Home office advisor: “But Frau May, that would mean we can’t sniff cocaine in the toilets of the Commons!?”

May: “Shut up you imbecile, these laws are for the plebs.”

Yup, we are in year two now of the tenure of the Psychoactive Substances Act 1916…I mean 1984, I mean….Urgh. So far even the people who have been tasked with trying to enforce and clean up the mess of it have turned around and said “well this is a bit of a fucking joke isn’t it”. Some of the muggins are even saying the most bat shit crazy things like…wait for it…”we didn’t see this coming”.

Here’s a picture of a hippy banging a drum:

A kratom hippy banging a drum.

A hippy banging a drum.

The newspapers are having a fucking field trip, and we don’t make light use of the word “trip”. Pretty disgracefully the mainstream media are resorting to calling people who have found themselves trapped in a struggle and circle of drug dependence “spice zombies”.

We don’t see the same personal attacks on binge drinking Britain though, which is a permanent feature of the urban landscape on a Wednesday through to a Saturday night in many a town in the UK. You can quite literally get legally shit faced in a pub, although if bar staff serve you and you are recognisably drunk they could get the same kind of caution and fine as someone being caught with a small amount of weed – but when the fuck have you seen that enforced?

Legal high binge drinking culture,

A young adult on the streets of Britain intoxicated on the most dangerous legal high, alcohol.

Let’s get this straight, there are many reasons people get into this situation – lack of safe access to safe drugs is one of the main ones – but the further criminalisation of anyone who wants to change how they feel is only perpetuating the situation because it offers no way to break the cycle.

You can kind of understand wanting to ban chemicals that have been knocked up in god knows what standard of lab, in a completely unknown country of origin, when you can see a lot of people being affected by it and hospitals are seeing a sharp increase in casualties and even fatalities. But banning outright and giving no way for people to mend their habits or find a legal safe substitute has landed us in a grave mess.

What’s at the bottom of the pit of despair when it comes to banning “psychoactive substances” (and we’ve got a new goat to get on over this terminology too) is the fact that they have banned completely natural and traditional herbal products in one fell swoop. Even the sale of safe natural herbs, such as kratom products, have been banned from sale, and kratom doesn’t even get you high, it’s akin to calling Ibuprofen a legal high. It’s like the Tories went back to the days of the Empire and thought “we need to ban all the voodoo” – next step after doing that was building mental hospitals and what are the Tories trying to claim now? There’s a rise in mental health issues…no shit – you stole people’s natural medicine they had been using for years and even generations and you see a rise in mental health issues

Kratom and voodoo ban.

Right, that’s kratom banned, but have we banned Voodoo?

Word is the government is running out of things to ban, pirate radio, protests outside parliament, fresh magic mushrooms and now everything that can remotely alter your mind-state, as long as it does not upset the corporate interests of Big Pharma, the alcohol and tobacco industries or Starbucks. Perhaps they’ll let the Lib Dems in for a bit so they can un-ban stuff, just so they can be spoilsports and ban it all again when back in power, as there’s nothing more the killjoy Conservatives like is banning things people enjoy. A shame we can’t ban Tories.

I started a Government petition to ban alcohol

Why I Started a Government Petition to Ban Alcohol (and then had a beer to celebrate it going live)

By Chris Shaw

August the 26th and I awaken to find an e-mail sitting in my inbox from the Government. At first I was a little worried. I try and stay out of the Government’s way as much as possible, but I read on and realised they finally responded to the “Make the production, sale and use of cannabis legal” petition that I signed weeks ago and, to be honest, I was very, very annoyed.

Downing Street response to cannabis petition.

Official Government response to over 200,000 UK residents calling for cannabis to be legalised.

I understand the Government’s response. Getting drug policy right in this country won’t get you votes from middle England, where the Tories and Labour have been fighting it out since the 90’s. If anything the Government’s response will help them with that base. Even though a 2013 Ipsos MORI poll suggests that 53% of the UK population support either legalisation or decriminalization of cannabis, we still have a lot of anti-cannabis hysteria in 21st century Britain, mainly thanks to right-wing news organizations and a lack of public figures that call for more liberal laws on drugs.

Another reason is because of big money interests. Do you think big pharmaceutical companies would be happy with a freely available medicine for many ailments to become free to use for anyone? And big booze companies that own the intoxicant market? No they would be livid. It’s not like politicians don’t know what the right thing to do when it comes to drugs laws. David Cameron, as a member of the home affairs select committee on drug misuse, said back in 2002 ‘I ask the Labour Government not to return to retribution and war on drugs, that has been tried and we all know that it does not work.’

Another reason why I understood the response (and let’s keep it real here guys) is that cannabis is a mind altering intoxicate, which can cause adverse effects and health issues in some people. Every substance has different effects on different people, but that’s all a reason for legalization; and none of the health or social issues associated with cannabis are as bad than the ones associated with alcohol.

So when I read the response to the cannabis petition I had a little think … all of their talking points where the same ones they used in America in the 1920’s to push through probation of alcohol. So what if you were replace the word cannabis and swapped it with alcohol? Would it still make sense? I did it and, guess what, it made perfect sense! So I then decided that I would take this straight to the Government in form of a petition to ban alcohol and make it a Class A drug

Highlighting Government hypocrisy over cannabis and alcohol.

Please sign and see what the Government has to say –

Now hardly anybody reading this is likely to believe banning alcohol would be a good idea, most of all me. It would bring violence and organised crime to our streets. People would flaunt the laws and start making dodgy batches of booze in their baths with anti-freeze and other such dangerous additives, which people would happily put up with just to get their fix and children will be freely available to start buying alcohol due to fact that no one will care about an ID. Do any of these talking points seem familiar to you?

The point of this petition is not to get alcohol banned for the same reasons we say cannabis shouldn’t be banned. It’s to point out government hypocrisy. The same hypocrisy we’ve been putting up with for years. If the government is happy to say drink responsibly, then why can’t we smoke responsibly?

So please sign my petition. We only need 10,000 signatures to get a response from the Government and that’s all we need to show people they do not really care about our health, but rather their interests and with this petition we can point this out to the wider public and help our cause.

In case you missed it, you can sign online here – this is about highlighting Government hypocrisy over cannabis laws, not seriously proposing the introduction of alcohol prohibition in the UK and to see what they say in view of their response to the cannabis petition.

Catnip to be banned in legal high crackdown

Nepeta cataria (catnip) is to be banned in the UK under the new  Psychoactive Substances Bill.

Catnip soon to be made illegal to sell in the UK.

The UK Government have confirmed catnip will be banned under new landmark legislation that will prohibit the production, distribution, sale and supply of legal highs or New Psychoactive Substances (NPS).

Nepeta cataria, commonly known as catnip, catswort, or catmint, is a species of the genus Nepeta in the Lamiaceae family, native to southern and eastern Europe, the Middle East, central Asia, and parts of China.

The Psychoactive Substances Bill will ban anything that has psychoactive effects on the human brain, with only a few exemptions from the act such as dangerous, government approved legal highs like alcohol and tobacco.

A Home Office spokesman confirmed that once the legislation is passed, catnip would have to be removed from pet shops and the pet department aisles of supermarkets throughout the UK or vendors risked prosecution and up to seven years in prison.

Catnip contains a chemical compound called nepetalactone, which some cats go crazy over and has been found to induce a psychosexual response in both male and female cats.

When cats come into contact with catnip they are known to meow and roll in the catnip, rub their cheek in the spot where the catnip is sprinkled, get into silly positions such as on their back with paws extended, gazing up at the ceiling, run around the room like a kitten playing with its invisible friend and settle into a dreamy, sleepy silly pose and not move for a while.

However, according to a Home Office spokesman, since catnip is proven to have a mild psychoactive effect on the human brain, it would therefore be covered by default under the new legislation.

Cat enjoying catnip (Nepeta cataria).

This pussy cat will soon be breaking the law in the UK once the blanket ban on all psychoactive substances becomes law.

Home Office Minister Mike Penning said that “while the blanket ban was meant to protect the corporate interests of the alcohol and tobacco industries”, he was “delighted” the legislation would also tackle the problem of drug use in animals.

“This is the first interspecies drug legislation that has been introduced anywhere in the world and we are delighted that a knock on effect of the Psychoactive Substances Bill will stop kitty cats enjoying themselves using harmless psychoactive herbs.

“The blanket ban will give police and other law enforcement agencies greater powers to tackle head shops, pet shops and supermarkets to seize and destroy any substance other than dangerous legal highs, such as Marlboro cigarettes* or Vodka and Redbull.

“In the last 90 years prohibition has been proven not to work, which is why we want to continue with more prohibition and hand over the legal high trade to the criminal black market, as opposed to focusing on harm reduction by making sure safer psychoactive substances or plants are not legally available in a taxed and regulated market.

“Not only must we think of the children, m’kay, we must also think of the pussy cats,” added Mr Penning.

British cats will no longer be able to enjoy catnip after the Conservative Government’s blanket ban on psychoactive substances, luckily these 70 cats are in the USA so will not be effected by the New Psychoactive Substances Act 2015.

* ‘other brands of cancer stick are available’