Catnip to be banned in legal high crackdown

Nepeta cataria (catnip) is to be banned in the UK under the new  Psychoactive Substances Bill.

Catnip soon to be made illegal to sell in the UK.

The UK Government have confirmed catnip will be banned under new landmark legislation that will prohibit the production, distribution, sale and supply of legal highs or New Psychoactive Substances (NPS).

Nepeta cataria, commonly known as catnip, catswort, or catmint, is a species of the genus Nepeta in the Lamiaceae family, native to southern and eastern Europe, the Middle East, central Asia, and parts of China.

The Psychoactive Substances Bill will ban anything that has psychoactive effects on the human brain, with only a few exemptions from the act such as dangerous, government approved legal highs like alcohol and tobacco.

A Home Office spokesman confirmed that once the legislation is passed, catnip would have to be removed from pet shops and the pet department aisles of supermarkets throughout the UK or vendors risked prosecution and up to seven years in prison.

Catnip contains a chemical compound called nepetalactone, which some cats go crazy over and has been found to induce a psychosexual response in both male and female cats.

When cats come into contact with catnip they are known to meow and roll in the catnip, rub their cheek in the spot where the catnip is sprinkled, get into silly positions such as on their back with paws extended, gazing up at the ceiling, run around the room like a kitten playing with its invisible friend and settle into a dreamy, sleepy silly pose and not move for a while.

However, according to a Home Office spokesman, since catnip is proven to have a mild psychoactive effect on the human brain, it would therefore be covered by default under the new legislation.

Cat enjoying catnip (Nepeta cataria).

This pussy cat will soon be breaking the law in the UK once the blanket ban on all psychoactive substances becomes law.

Home Office Minister Mike Penning said that “while the blanket ban was meant to protect the corporate interests of the alcohol and tobacco industries”, he was “delighted” the legislation would also tackle the problem of drug use in animals.

“This is the first interspecies drug legislation that has been introduced anywhere in the world and we are delighted that a knock on effect of the Psychoactive Substances Bill will stop kitty cats enjoying themselves using harmless psychoactive herbs.

“The blanket ban will give police and other law enforcement agencies greater powers to tackle head shops, pet shops and supermarkets to seize and destroy any substance other than dangerous legal highs, such as Marlboro cigarettes* or Vodka and Redbull.

“In the last 90 years prohibition has been proven not to work, which is why we want to continue with more prohibition and hand over the legal high trade to the criminal black market, as opposed to focusing on harm reduction by making sure safer psychoactive substances or plants are not legally available in a taxed and regulated market.

“Not only must we think of the children, m’kay, we must also think of the pussy cats,” added Mr Penning.

British cats will no longer be able to enjoy catnip after the Conservative Government’s blanket ban on psychoactive substances, luckily these 70 cats are in the USA so will not be effected by the New Psychoactive Substances Act 2015.

* ‘other brands of cancer stick are available’

32 thoughts on “Catnip to be banned in legal high crackdown

  1. I have 16 cats .Only 4- 6 have contacted with catnip.Its in little socks tied on the end and once in a while they might sniff are roll around on it’s there all the time and hardly
    Notice. This is so stupid.I wish I had something to make me feel better just for a moment! !!!

  2. Obviously the UK government has cottoned on to the fact that cats are plotting to overthrow humanity, and this is an attempt to thwart them…

  3. From Triggy the small domestic moggie, hands off my weed man! I need my nip I hVe to put up with boring humans, not to mention too many smelly canines!

  4. This is absolutely f……..g ridiculous I have never heard of such crap in my life OMG some people need shooting.

    • wat a load of bollocks how the hell can they do that as if a cat is going to go partying or committing crimes this government is talking out his arse

  5. Whatever next?? This is getting laughable… not so much for the kitties though..might have to have a little roll about with the cats and some catnip just to see what all the fuss is about..God forbid if I actually enjoy myself and I end up smiling!! Lol.

  6. ….and at what point did our government receive a mandate from the electorate to enact this!! THE GOVERNMENT’S ROLE IS TO DEMOCRATICALLY REPRESENT THE PEOPLE!!! …and to make policy and propose legislation IN ACCORD WITH THAT RESPONSIBILITY!!
    Why are we, the British People, putting up with them wasting our taxes on such unsolicited activity??? THEY WERE NOT DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED!

    PLEASE PETITION FOR A VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE TO REMOVE THESE GREEDY, MANIPULATIVE FRAUDSTERS FROM WESTMINSTER!!!

  7. What bunch of muppets came up with this, totally ridiculous and taking pleasure away from playful cats sucks balls!!!!!

  8. can just see the headlines Cameron Bails out number 10 moggy. Cat says hes innocent catnip belongs to the moggie at number 11. Planted by MI5 mutts to bring cats into disrepute

  9. What about medicinal catnip for feline leukemia? This is a dog gone shame. I’d like to flip them the bird because it’s all very fishy.

  10. Just Nepeta cataria or other Nepeta species? In the picture above, the cat is not rubbing up against Nepeta cataria, but another species. . . . Please, someone offer conservative members of the British Parliament LSD at tea time. They really need it.

  11. Typical David Cameron, bring in stupid legislations that he can use as a tick box exercise … never mind all the other shit going on in the country. Pathetic, ex public schoolboy who hasn’t got a bloody clue.

  12. I am so confused, I thought some of our Canadians laws are questionable but this is the most ridiculous yet. Hope Canadian law makers don’t hear of this. Wow. First off I thought it was a prank but guess it must be true. Guess British government not busy enough with the real stuff

  13. This has got to be a joke doesn’t it? If it’s not, then the joke is on you UK and your parliament is full of jokes…

  14. Have just this minute placed an order for plants. My moggie, Euro (Sceptic) is not to be deprived of his pleasures.

  15. Pingback: Legaliseren cannabis is een baanbrekende hervorming - Piratenpartij

  16. To the best of my knowledge, ALL food and drink is psychoactive. In fact, anything thatenters our body in any way, including the air we breath, is technically psychoactive. It’s driving me slightly crazy that this is the wording they have chosen to go with. Another great example of why you should get actual scientists involved in the making of these laws, and not just people wanting to enforce political ideologies, with no evidence or science behind it

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